There’s not enough time to finish right now, so I’ll leave this to-be-finished… although, we can rejoice that, already, “It Is Finished” and “He Is Risen” =D

I love Christmas music!  Christmas in my family with divorced parents was sometimes not the easiest of holidays, but I was always drawn to Christmas music.  Joyful, thoughtful, pleasant lyrics about family, friends, sleigh rides, merriment, happiness, snow… it just gives me the warm fuzzies =P  And now after coming into a loving, caring, redeeming relationship with the greatest Father and Friend there can be (coming up on 7 years in the Spring =D), there’s a whole lot more reason to sing about Christmas!

Also, I had the awesome privilege to share one of my favorite Christmas songs with Living Water on Sunday, and even more-so, to sing alongside a great friend, sister, and one of the greatest musicians I know as she played keyboard & sang harmony – you rock Jenna!

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AcTxNr_Xx8

“I Celebrate the Day” – Relient K

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know
how much You’ve touched my life
Because here is where You’re finding me,
in the exact same place as New Year’s eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We’re less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I’ll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might really live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

Thanks to Jenny for the opportunity to share with the beloved!!

Here’s the link to the recorded version…

http://livingwaterberkeley.org/index.php?option=com_hwdvideoshare&task=viewvideo&Itemid=121&video_id=72

After watching that, I realized that I make a lot of weird faces when I sing =P

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!  We’re celebrating one of the greatest days in human history, and I hope, one of the greatest days in your life as well!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjJrbB8vxR4

The greatest day in history, Death is beaten
You have rescued me
Sing it out Jesus is alive
The empty cross, The empty grave
Life eternal You have won the day
Shout it out Jesus is alive
He’s alive

Oh happy day, happy day
You washed my sin away
Oh happy day, happy day
I’ll never be the same
Forever I am changed

When I stand, in that place
Free at last, meeting face to face
I am Yours Jesus You are mine
Endless joy, perfect peace
Earthly pain finally will cease
Celebrate Jesus is alive
He’s alive

Oh what a glorious day
What a glorious way
That You have saved me
Oh what a glorious day
What a glorious name

… and that pretty much sums up today =]  And it was a good break from the last week of… well, some not-so-happy things (besides my GRANDMA BEING SAVED!  Another post to come about that fosho =D).

And then I got a huge slap in the face when I got home…

1. Linda & Lisa came over to watch “Up” – Linda, Lisa, David, and WeiLi all prayed for me before Linda & Lisa left.
2. I read a new journal post from the Tuma’s (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/teamtuma/journal – SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2009 10:28 PM, PST) and was humbled – life is such a precious thing, and there’s such a fine line between life & death.  How can I be complaining about something so little?

Sure, it wasn’t a literal slap in the face, but I felt like I needed that to happen and had it coming.

On a related note, keep fellowship with Daddy this week everyone, no matter what the circumstances (man, cuts deep for me) – know that the Father wants to have a relationship of joy & love with you.

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WN37XYqrmY

In my journal entry tonight, I started out by writing,

“It’s been a long time since I’ve put much thought into my life/faith.  Right now, it’s coming at the end of a crazy time in my life.  Sometimes I wonder… is all the effort I am putting in at work really worth it?”

At the end of my journal entry, I wrote,

“I need to be more long-suffering, patient, trusting… trust – that seems to be the defining word lately, something I know I’ll take a lifetime to develop & be tested in.  But I am an adpoted son – I can always trust my Father to be there for me & provide all things.  He sees me as His Son Jesus – I am justified.  I am my Father’s son, chosen by Him to receive the unbounded gift of grace.”

Lately, I’ve been reading through Ephesians as we have been going through it on Sundays at church.  Also, I recently started journaling again, pen-and-paper style in one of my Moleskine journals that I’ve received for my birthday from my awesome bro & former roommate, Andrew.

However lately I’ve also found myself spending hours upon hours at work, and I haven’t been finding too much purpose in it all.  Sure, there are deadlines, but some feeling/desire behind the deadlines is driving me.  I’m not too sure what it is.  What would cause me, drive me, to stay up until 5am in the morning doing work & work 80+ hours in one week?

With all of that time put into work, I haven’t had much time for anything else.  China missions prep outside of our meetings, young adult ministry, relationships with friends, spending time with co-workers, making time to talk with family, thoughts about life and the future, hopes, dreams… other parts of life have taken a backseat lately.  The only solid thing in my life (along with always having tons of work to be done) is really the Word and the time I spend with Dad.  As I look back over the past couple of crazy weeks, really, the best times of joy & peace have been when I have connected with the Father through Scripture or prayer or just being in silence while admiring the clouds, the sun, the mountains… the Lord’s beautiful creation.  Really, time with God has been a sanctuary away from the day-to-day dealings with life.  How do people do life without knowing God?

I will say though, I do feel “caught in the middle” right now in life.  I feel like I’m in a tug-of-war where I am the rope – on the one end God is tugging on the strings of my heart, and on the other end work-life-sleep-hunger-finances-responsibilities-housing-family-friends-missions-health-temptation-struggles-etc are pulling at my soul.  I know that’s not really what the song is about, but that tug-of-war feeling does leave me a bit lost & confused – caught between wanting to trust the Lord with ever more of my life & all while still trying to rule my own destiny with my own hopes, dreams, aspirations, and strength.  Yet, again I say, “I am my Father’s son, chosen by Him to receive the unbounded gift of grace.”

I love Casting Crowns, how they are able to capture the not-so-easy-reality side of the Christian life while still keeping the power, presence, and promises of God in frame.  That’s really who I am – recognizing the reality of where my life was headed before Christ & realizing my real adoption as a child of God through Christ.

But, I remembered a good quote tonight that I also wrote in my journal – the main question is not, “Who am I?” but rather, “Whose am I?”

I am my Father’s son.

Fourteen brothers & sisters from my lovely & amazing church in Berkeley, Living Water, will be heading to “East Asia” as missionaries to the lost & broken who are still in darkness in the nation there.  I won’t enumerate everything that’s in my support letter here – instead, if you have not received a copy of my support letter yet, you can VIEW MY SUPPORT LETTER HERE (http://www.rootprod.com/download/lw-summer-09-support-letter.pdf) – let me know if you haven’t received a support letter yet and would like a personalized copy! (since the one I put up online is anonymous & doesn’t even have my name signed at the bottom =P)  I’ve sent them out to many people already, so either I have’t gotten around to sending YOU one yet OR it got lost in the mail.  I would be MORE THAN HAPPY to send you one if you want one though!

Over the course of the past week we have had our first prep meetings – we meet every Wednesday & Thursday from 6:30-9pm and on Sundays from 4-9pm, phew!  It’s a lot of time and effort, but we are trusting the Lord that He will bless everything that we put in and multiply it in His time out in the field.  I’m currently developing lesson plans for teaching English classes to 8th grade boys & girls with my amazing buddy, Sarah!  Sarah is an AMAZING daughter of the Father who has just blown me away with the efficiency, diligence, and timeliness of putting these lesson plans together!  Plus, it encourages me to see her excitement to covertly work in parables & stories about Jesus into the lessons.

In fact, I love my entire team: Anita, Brian, Daniel, Danielle, Edna, John, Joyce, Kat, Linda,  Pastor Tom, Pastor James, Sarah, & WeiLi!

I’ll continue to update about these happenings, but PLEASE PRAY for the people, finances, and the team.  There is a LOT of stuff happening that the team is continaully praying & fasting for, so please please please be in prayer for us all!

Our God is GOOD, Amen!

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and the release from darkness for the prisoners“

(Isaiah 61:1)

Why is it so Good?

I can’t say why today may (or may not) be so good for you, but I can share with you why today is so Good for me, and I would hope that you would be able to either share in or come to know the delight that this day brings to my heart and soul.

Today is Good Friday, and it marks a day in which, six years ago in 2003, the course of my life changed forever.

Today I celebrate my own rebirthday!   It was on April 18th (Good Friday), 2003 when I first openly acknowledged my transgressions to the Lord, understood the price of my iniquities that Jesus Christ paid in full on the Cross, accepted grace – the free gift of forgiveness – that God gave to me on behalf of Jesus’ offering, and began a lifelong journey of becoming the man that God had intended me to become all along – a God-lover.

No longer would I be living a life that was all about me, striving for success in the rat race of life & failing to recognize love for what it truly is.
No longer would I be giving into the pressures of the world as it tried to define & mold me into something I was never meant to be.
No longer would I be fulfilling an American dream of freedom that, in the end, is a nightmare of slavery.
No longer… because now I live to love and give myself to others, my entire life as a sacrifice, that ultimately fulfills a greater purpose than I could have ever dreamed.

This is nothing of my own will or accord, but only by a miracle of God who deserves all the praise & glory for everything He has done and continues to do in my life.  Although I have not yet arrived, in fullness of humanity, at who God is molding me to be (and will not on this side of heaven), the Lord continues to lead me in arriving at that wonderful destination of freedom.  Numerous faults, failures, and fragments of character still exist in my life as a sinner, however the peace & joy that the Lord has brought into the entirety of my mind, heart, soul, and life is more than enough to overcome my shame and guilt.  He has blessed me with all things that make up my life, including a Family of brothers and sisters to share in my joy with – PRAISE THE LORD!!!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

This is why today marks six years of JOY.

Today is Good Friday, and it marks the beginning of a victorious revolution of joy, peace, and love.

Today we remember the arrest, crucifixion, and death of the Servant Jesus Christ.
Today we celebrate (yes, we are free to even celebrate what today is) the peace, healing, and joy that was brought through the Savior Jesus Christ.
Today we look forward to Resurrection Sunday and the coming of the Kingdom of Heaven in the return of the King Jesus Christ.

I have no words to write here that would do justice for today, but only the words of Isaiah in Isaiah 53 and 55…

Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our
transgressions;
he was crushed for our
iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement
that brought us peace,
and with his stripes we are
healed.
All we like sheep have gone
astray;
we have turned every one to
his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all…

…Yet it was the will of the Lord to
crush him…

For you shall go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and the hills
before you
shall break forth into singing,
and all the trees of the field
shall clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn shall come
up the cypress;
instead of the brier shall come
up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the
Lord,
an everlasting sign that shall
not be cut off.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzqTFNfeDnE&feature=player_embedded

We are Resurrection Sunday people living in a Good Friday world!
We can’t outlive Him and we can’t live without Him!
Death couldn’t handle Him and the grave couldn’t hold Him!

Today marks over 2000 years of JOY – Hallelujah, praise the LORD!!!

THAT’S MY KING!!!